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In the early 1990’s I lived in one of those hedonistic apartment complexes in north Atlanta.  It was called Spring Crossing and it was in Dunwoody.  It had nice trails, four or five pools, and was filled with young people.

It was a cold, rainy Thanksgiving–the Thursday or Friday.  I remember zipping up my leather jacket tight and putting my hands in the pockets to walk around the complex.

There were gentle hills and I was walking on the narrow private roads.  There was a creek, woods, and a bridge and it was quiet.

Off to one side, maybe a hundred yards away, I saw curtains move.  There was a woman looking out, and moving around the sliding-door walkout.  The curtains were drawn and she was peeking out from behind them.

Maybe ten minutes later as I was concluding my walk, I was stopped by two or three policeman.  It was in front of my building.  They asked me for ID (I had none).  In a physical manner they pushed me against the police car.  They took my apartment key, tested it and confirmed I lived there.

They said I fit the description of someone jiggling locks–tall, brown leather jacket, sunglasses.

I didn’t like it one bit.  The people at my apartment complex got an earful and were adamant:  this is private property, you don’t have to carry ID.

Dunwoody is in Fulton County, Georgia, population 1.1 million.

Monday morning I called to complain.  Within ten seconds I was connected with the commissioner of police.  He listened and apologized compassionately.  I don’t remember the exact word he used–whether it was “will” or “may.”  I think it was will.

He said you will come here, to my office, and make a sworn statement.

He was all business.  And that was all I needed.


EDIT:  He was Black and about 60 years old.


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October 30th, 2015 at 11:29 am

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(EDIT:  Relax.  Who’s going to see it?)

(The original, Feb 2015)

What would I do if I were in that position?

The situation is that of an ex-spouse constantly fighting the other ex-spouse, largely over an 8-10 year-old son.  This divorce is her doing (if I wanted him to divorce me…) and is her second.  She wants male companionship and to get on with her life.

I do not think I would be in this position, but that is not an answer.  I have not done it (yet), marriage and children because the opportunity has not been perfect.  I view them both as life-long commitments (hopefully in some form).

Finding a “loophole” is not a concept I would apply.  It just does not gel with my make-up.  I do not think that way.  There is a real personality difference there.




I really thought about this a lot.  It is a very tough situation.  A real option would be to give up and go on with my own life.  My own unaltered life.


It sounds frivolous or even like a platitude.  I think I would stay home and watch the World Series with my son.  And I think I would be there, maybe even in spirit only, for his birthday, Halloween, and the whole week.

I would forget about 4-5 dates a week, private planes, surfing and muscle toning, and waking up at 4 AM.  I would be home, (cell) phone and email on.

(Yes I have been called more introspective than most people.  I think I would reach the conclusion that I need to change.)

Too cryptic?  A solid year-round home and always available.

Finding a boyfriend or even new husband if fine too.  That maybe is not such a good idea until I deal with my own problems first.  And then, that will not work unless I am available and totally up-front with him.  (No loopholes.)


There must be a novel or movie about it somewhere.  Remember the Robert Redford character in Three Days of the Condor, whose job was to read novels and enter their plots in a database?  That would be a good job.  It is an interesting question.  So if I get divorced I only have to be a parent half time?

The other that sticks out immediately is doing something intentionally to end it.  It was the first time I have ever heard that (and twice).  Maybe it is human nature and we all do it, even unintentionally.

It is fun, if you keep it in perspective.  I learned a ton, specifically narcissism and love, and seeing it as the other person, as represented by a child.  More on that later.

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October 28th, 2015 at 7:33 am

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notes to self

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Fourteenth amendment – equal protection clause.

Sheriff’s department refuses to accept image/photo evidence.

Still archaic crime reporting procedures

CANNOT CALL – it will not work (report, response, investigation, promptness, etc.)

Entrapment is an interesting issue.  I wonder why the high-ranking lieutenant said he would take care of things and didn’t; in fact I never heard bo-peep from anyone after our conversation.

There are witnesses, like the person who said he/she met with Ted Mink (regarding the illegal activities by the department).  There are several others too.

Most importantly, these are different times.  There are emails, videos, images, phone messages, etc. galore.

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October 7th, 2015 at 9:38 pm

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The Ted Mink Story

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It was hard, and it is still unfinished.

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October 7th, 2015 at 7:44 pm

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Wow.   I think it is strange that a football game turns into a discussion on religion, but I never heard of hunting down people and killing them because they believe in their religion.

Witnesses to the Oregon bloodshed described Mercer as questioning people at gunpoint about their religious affiliations, and appearing to single out Christians for killing.

It was a class he was taking.  Sixteen dead revised; “only” nine.

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October 2nd, 2015 at 9:28 am

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A place to write it down.

I really like my “local” Walmart (Walmart is mass scale, not a local company). It is small(er) and seldom crowded. Even things like Black Friday and Site to Store work there.

Walmart is an outstanding company. You do not dominate worldwide retailing by accident.  They have a lot of advantages–distribution, pricing clout, deep pockets, etc.–and they use them. And they have programs and policies; they do not jerk their customers around.

I think it is a feud between Walmart and Bank of America. Everyone knows that Walmart has been trying to get into banking. So now they are making it difficult to shop with BoA credit cards. Just kidding.

Last week I bought a few items, grass seed, vitamins, and French bread.  I like Walmart French bread, especially when it is half price.  I went to check out and my credit card did not work.  It has both a chip and a strip, get it?, and for some time I have had to hide it from cashiers at Walmart; the self check-out is a perfect way.  Just swipe the strip before they can see it and it will work.  If not, they will start manhandling it and I will get upset.  I digress.  Somewhere in this whole thing I learned that they converted to chip only on 9/1.

I am not one of those people who enjoys hanging-out at Walmart.  I had a few items and I wanted to get out of there.  The cashier started asking me about growing grass seed ($2.97 bag of starter seed).  I politely pretended I did not hear her (i.e., ignore).  She starts asking more questions… ‘My sister-in-law tried…’  Blah, blah, blah.  I said “You have to read the package, sometimes it is annual.”  Enough with the grass seed.  She was not paying attention at all.  I swiped my card and it did not work.  I put it in the chip reader/black hole, waited, over and over and it almost worked.

The woman decided to walk around the aisle, she grabbed the card out of my hand, and started violently rubbing it on her leg.  I mean violently, it has happened before (four or five times at Walmart), some of these people…  I do not know.  They treat credit cards differently than I do.  Finally, it worked.

What exactly is the point of that, fooling around with my card–I mean, how does that affect the chip and the hardware?

Then there was the apparent manager at the scene–the woman with the headset and choreography tasks.  She’s the one who, while apparently talking on the phone, pointed at me and screamed “That man!” as if someone was going to help me.  The employee customer ratio must have been about one-to-one (15 employees, fifteen customers) toward the front of the store.  Still, nothing happened.  Kasey (sp?), the employee/manager I spoke with, knew nothing about it.

After walking to my car I discovered the bread was priced incorrectly.  It is a smaller Walmart, but still, back to customer service.  There was one person ahead of me.  I got to listen to how to remove stains from tablecloths…  The transaction–the woman ahead of me–was not going quickly.  This was all for a refund between $0 and $3.  Finally, I got up there; it did not work; “Do you have another bread?”

Here is where it gets a little different, for me.  I even know the customer service manager.  She is nice and she tries.  I realize she is not the CEO of Walmart.  I am not looking to get anyone in trouble.  And, while the poor woman was swiping the (by now mangled French breads), the customer service manager was not even “on the clock.”

Have you ever stood there while someone presses the same buttons, and scans the same item, over and over again?  It just does not work.  But to see them “assaulting” (sorry, bad word) your credit card over and over?  That is when I get mad.  One Walmart cashier actually started scraping it!  (Fine print, it was a gift card, Walmart folks did it, no refund, so I’ll consider it the same).  I told, or I guess asked, the customer service manager “I use this card five times a day.  It works everywhere but here, what is the problem?”

They put the manager’s name on the receipt, I called…  I have matured.  It is not a fair fight.  But that is how I learn.  At least I do not do it on dates (anymore).

The manager apparently is not the manager.  The assistant manager, about three-quarters through the conversation she said “I’m the manager.”  It just was not fair.  No question, there is training…  “What can we do to make it right?” she asked.  Even, if one pushes, “We will refund your purchases.”

No I do not want to drive back.  No, I do not want to do it again with customer service.  Maybe I should have because it would have been a lesson in composure.  “Send me a check,” on my part, did not work.

Still no word from the real manager.

All I ever said was “I am going to write it down and I would like an email address to send it to.”


No manager.

There is much more to this story.  I always learn something.  I learned that the procedure is to enter the numbers manually when it does not work one time, assistant manager told me.

I did call the 800 number per the assistant manager’s advice and my curiosity.  The woman again referenced procedures and was very apologetic.  A call from the manager as promised never happened.

Another lesson?  I do not work in a managerial capacity at Walmart and they do not have to listen to me.  It is a big, sometimes impersonal world.

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October 1st, 2015 at 1:51 pm

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